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Question from Belinda
How can I help my pregnant sister, Ellen, to deal with her mother-in-law who is criticizing her for being on a raw food diet?

Additional Comments from Belinda
Ellen’s mother-in-law (Gen) is so negative toward my sister when my sister really needs support in this difficult pregnancy. She keeps telling my sister that she’s not getting enough nutrients, nor is it possible on a raw diet. Gen is very fat, but all our family members are naturally thin. Gen keeps saying that sunflower sprouts are not enough as if that’s the only thing Ellen eats, but she eats lots of greens and superfoods.

Joy’s Response to Belinda

You raise two very important subjects: (1) eating raw to get all the nutrients necessary and (2) dealing with disagreeing others in ways that are empowering for all involved. I can respond to these two areas and give you some ideas. Keep in mind that I’m not trained to offer advice on pregnancy, and encourage Ellen to seek the advice of a health care professional.

It’s interesting to listen to the criticism that people who eat cooked foods express to those who are eating whole, real, natural foods. Keep in mind that this criticism is based on their familiarity or comfort, and is usually well-intentioned.

The fascinating dynamic, of course, is that eating foods raw is the most natural way — the way that humans ate for thousands of years. While I personally love the modern times, I recognize that many practices in these modern times have denatured foods.

Gen is absolutely right that sunflower sprouts are not enough! There are many other foods needed. I’m so glad that you and Ellen know about superfoods. I’ve listened to many, many of David Wolf’s lectures and read his books and articles. He’s worked with many athletes, who are extremely strong and vibrant. I met Gabriel Cousens 30 years ago and considered him to be one of the most vital persons I had met.

I think the research both these raw food leaders have done is awesome. You might search for suggestions on books or other resources specifically for pregnant women. Here’s one:

Chapter 30 of Gabriel Counsens’ book Conscious Eating is entitled "Nutrition for Pregnancy." I recommend that chapter; I recommend the whole book!

I was looking for some quotations that might be helpful when you speak to either Ellen or Gen. In my searching, I found a web site that I think beautifully captures some basic ideas, in small sound bites, including a passage from Genesis. Check out http://aliveandraw.com/foodfaqs.html And if these don’t quite resonate with you, Ellen, or Gen, perhaps you can think of some others.

Another suggestion is to find every way you can to agree with Gen; when you disagree, then you’re in an argument and usually no one is listening very much to the other.

So when Gen says (this is just an example to illustrate my point) "You can’t live on sunflower sprouts." You can answer, "You’re right about that, Gen. We love sunflower sprouts, and we also eat a lot of other foods." And, of course, there are many other follow up sentences after you’ve said she is correct.

There’s a time to educate and a time to be silent. Ellen will have to balance her food choices with keeping peace with her husband’s family. There are no easy answers to this. It’s life. I hope some of these ideas help.